I started this blog after a 3 month hiatus in writing. On Nov 12, 2010, my husband, lover, friend, and roommate of 25 years died after a 14 month endurance race with Glioblastoma, a relatively common, and almost always terminal, brain cancer. His story, from shortly after diagnosis until death can be found at: www.caringbridge.org/visit/jimlafortune
I wrote Jim’s caring bridge blog to keep family, friends and students of Jim’s informed. They wanted to know how he was doing, what type of help we needed, and what sorts of things we were doing to see if we could be the 1 in 1 million chance of surviving the beast. I also wrote it because it forced me to take pretty complex information (it WAS brain surgery after all!) and simplify it into a format that junior high school students could understand. Most importantly, it also allowed me a way to communicate that information to my brain-damaged husband in a way that was not “in your face” personal. Our day-to-day life could be more focused on the living, and less about the nastiness of the cancer. In the end, it was a way for me to process his death, and I hoped it could be a road map for others facing a similar situation. When Jim was diagnosed, I looked, but couldn’t find anything similar.
I am writing now mostly to help myself navigate the complex emotional minefield of new widowhood. Most of my posts begin as 6 pages of stream of consciousness (the kind that runs through your head when you are awake at 2 am), and then get reduced to something that is fit to be shared. I am again simplifying complex information; not for junior high students, or a brain-damaged lover, but for me. Again, I looked, and I could not find anything similar. Perhaps it will be a road map for others…if so, that is a blessing.
Thanks for reading.