I got told the other day that I was busy….with the word “too” not spoken, but implied. I went back to work for the Pullman school district on August 22nd. Jasper started back to school on August 28th. Early intervention families that have been out-of-town for summer vacations are back. I said yes to volunteering for this weekend’s athletic events. I’m still running and swimming in the wee hours of the morning. There are back to school nights, prepping for Jasper’s upcoming turtle trip to Mexico, and his college applications are looming. Yes. I am busy, and it feels good.
I am lucky. I love my work. It is service oriented, and I like getting to the end of the day realizing that just maybe, I had a positive influence on the world. I get to work with people of all ages, and as a PT, I have a license to touch. When being busy includes hugs and smiles from kids, it feels good.
Jasper is busy. He is in school all day and not home from practice until after 6 pm. He does his homework and is keeping on top of juggling all the other things that go along with being a senior. He is also growing up. If I have an evening meeting, he can make his own dinner. If I am gone for the weekend, he feeds himself and friends….and cleans up and replenishes supplies. He’s signed up for entrance exams, and pays with his own debit card. If I were here all the time….I would dote, and he would be lacking in skills. Being busy feels good, and is good for him.
When Jim died, he left a big hole….not only in my heart, but in my life. About April, when I wasn’t working as much, and people were still really wary about asking me to do things, I looked around and realized that I was just a little…..bored. Jim left a hole I needed to fill. I filled it with a lot of fun over the summer. As Fall approached, I realized that I needed more than fun. “Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth.” – Shirley Anita Chisholm. Yes, I am busy, and it feels good.
I am busy. But, if a friend calls for coffee or a glass of wine, I almost never say no. I’m still keeping up with the basic yard and housework, and have lowered my standards on almost everything else. My houseplants are dying….but only the ones I did not like anyhow! Jasper and I still sit down to a home cooked meal most nights….and with the approaching season it is often by candlelight. I have time to play and have fun on the weekends, some here, some out-of-town. I go to bed pretty early. My body AND my brain are tired. I’m sleeping well. I am busy, and it feels good.
When Jim died, he left a hole. No one else can fill that hole, but me. I am busy…..what the heck else should I be?