Today was Monday. Supposed to be a home economist day. I should have done my taxes. But, there was snow, and skiing, and soup. S’s…..I have been thinking a lot about S’s. The S’s of sadness, and solitude. Solace and service. And most recently, sickness, and silliness, sweetness, and sleep.
Sadness. It is still there. It comes at unexpected times…but it doesn’t last as long as it used to…and it is usually a sweet memory that brings it on. The stress of Jim’s last year is fading, and I remember the sweetness of what kept us married for so long.
Solitude. I am taking time for this. Sometimes in a solo run, sometimes it is just a day with little work. My home is my office…and there is a lot of time with Jasper at school, the phone is quiet, the dog is asleep. I have plenty of time to just sit. I am coming off of a year where I got precious little alone time. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I’m discovering that I like my company.
Solace. Well, sometimes all that solitude IS lonely. I am so grateful for the solace of friends and family. A mom down the street, friends that include me in EVERYTHING, and if I get too edgy, for the price of a lift ticket and lunch, I can get my daughter to meet me halfway and get a hug. The steady solace of supper every night with my son. Table cleared of homework, good food, a candle.
Service. I have never been so thankful that my work is service oriented. It is hard to switch gears from being needed 24/7, to having blocks of unstructured time. When you are in “mourning”, no one asks you to do anything. Cool stuff is happening, and no one requests your help. It feels good when I can offer, it feels good when I can do something for somebody else. Got all this energy….it has to go somewhere.
Sweetness and sleep. Nothing like a night of silliness with friends, and symptoms of a cold to bring on the elusive sleep. 9-10 hours each night. Dreams….sweet sweet dreams.
The taxes can wait. Snow is elusive at this time of year, and needs to be skied upon. Rested from solitude and sleep, a sweet offer to ski from a friend or two, satisfied by the solace of silliness. All topped off by great roasted veggie soup. With my son. And a candle.