For me, grief is a manic-depressive event. There are hills and valleys. In the beginning, the valleys were really deep, and climbing back up the hill seemed insurmountable. I still go up and down, but the peaks and valleys are shallower, and I am developing tools to pull myself out of the hole.
This weekend I made plans to get together with a friend that I had been missing all week as she was on a silent retreat. We went to a folk music concert at the Dahmen Barn. Wes Weddell (website on right under “blogroll”), whom I remember as just the somewhat geeky son of another friend of mine, is now 31, and he and his band put on a tight show. I was happy to get out, elated to see my friend, enjoyed the music….and then there was just that one song. I never know what the trigger is that will set me plummeting down again.
I have learned what the hard times are. The end of the day, the culmination of a weekend. Traditional family ingathering times. I am learning what helps. Dim the lights, make a nice dinner, see a friend.